A Guide to Wallace Dialect

When I got Wallace-d, I had to learn a new language. My husband’s family has a huge vocabulary of nonsense words and phrases that they use in daily conversation….not to say that my family didn’t. Over the years and as we’ve added outlaws, that language has developed into its own subset of English.

Since I’m sick of writing about revisions (and I’m sure you’re all bored of reading about them), I thought I’d share a little of our dialect with you today. The strangest or funniest words are highlighted.
  • Actively Caring: A tongue-in-cheek reference to my husband’s company’s dedication to safety.
  • Budget: When a project is poorly completed.
  • Chops: A dog’s jowls.
  • Chubbins: Any body part that is chubby.
  • Damage: Used in place of the four-letter word that sounds similar.
  • Deal: A one-word sentence meaning, “get over it.”
  • Diaper Rash: Stems from verbal diarrhea. What someone gets when they talk too much.
  • Dragon breath: What your breath smells like before your brush your teeth.
  • Drive-by Feeding: How we feed children who refuse to eat.
  • Face: A term of endearment. Example: “What’s up Face!”
  • Gorgois: Better than gorgeous. (Stolen from SYTYCD).
  • Gugs/Guggy: Grandma.
  • Homeless: What a child looks like when their hair isn’t done or clothes don’t match. Used interchangeably with the word “urchin.”
  • Logger/Loggerhead: Someone who is sleeping too long.
  • Monkey Skins: Pajamas.
  • Nanners: Underwear.
  • Nator: Can be added to the end of any little boy’s name. Example: Gavinator, Bensonator
  • Neck meat: That delicious part of a baby’s neck that you want to nibble on.
  • Nibble-icious: Any part of a child that you want to kiss a million times (used in conjunction with neck meat).
  • Ninny: Nipple.
  • Ninny Baby: A baby that is nursing.
  • Petunia: A term of endearment for a little girl.
  • Poodyhoos/Poody meat: Chubby thighs. Is often used in song: “Shake your poodies, shake your, shake your poodies.” (What we lack in booty we make up for in poodies!)
  • Privacy Poodies: Thighs so chubby it covers your private parts.
  • Puppins: Any dog.
  • Rat: A wig or hair piece.
  • Raptor claw: Super long toenails.
  • Raptor toe: Second toe that is longer than the big toe.
  • Rheent: The sound it makes when someone is taking advantage of you. Accompanied by a jerking thumbs up motion.
  • Spastastic: Fantastically spastic.
  • Speedo Spider: A poorly shaved bikini line.
  • Stinkin‘: An adjective used in many ways. Example: “So stinkin‘ cute.”
  • Stinkle: Stinky Tinkle. What a wet diaper smells like in the morning.
  • Wardenitis: A condition seen when a parent cares to much (stems from my MIL’s nickname which is Warden).

I tried to leave the most…crass…words off the list. Seriously, who needs another term for human genitalia? (But we still have like, fifty)

Does your family have its own language too, or is this strictly a Wallace thing?

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