Memos From a Grouchy Pregnant Lady

Dear Manager at Walgreens:

Could you please stop being so nice?  I have a lot of pent up anger and I really want to unleash it on you.  I mean, I’ve been stuck in your store with all three of my kids for forty minutes and no one has been able to find our pictures.  And now you want me to upload the Walgreens ap to my phone so I can resend the pictures because you can’t even find my order?  Stop apologizing.  Don’t give me that $10 gift card.  Don’t reprint my pictures this instant.  Why aren’t you charging me for them? 

Ugh. Now I’m unhappily a forever customer and still angry on the inside.

The Grouchy Pregnant Lady



To Spring Break:

Apparently you’ve forgotten why you exist.  The words “Spring Break” mean sunshine and flowers, not snow and thirty degree temperatures.  I’m supposed to send the kids out to the back yard to play and get filthy, while I sit in the gazebo and write frantically.  Instead, we were all trapped indoors watching Wreck-It-Ralph over and over, and listening to Sarah Silverman’s voice until we prayed for the DVD to break.  Or…at least I was praying. 

You owe me some sunny day and I’m collecting now.

The Grouchy Pregnant Lady



To My Husband Who Left Half a Cheesecake on the Counter Overnight: 

I can’t even…*shakes head*

The Grouchy (and now Hungry which means even Grouchier) Pregnant Lady

P.S.  I blame you for all things. 


6 Comments

  • prerna pickett

    oh my gosh, the last one! i can totally relate! Hang in there, I know how hard it can be to be the grouchy pregnant lady, but it’ll be over, probably not before you know it since pregnancy seems to drag on and on, but it will end sooner or later.

  • Lexa Cain

    My hubby regularly leaves milk, cheese, and deli meat on the counters. So annoying. And did I mention the time he dropped a glass bottle of cough syrup? I came home a few hours later and wondered why my shoes were sticking to the tiled floor. When I asked him, he whined, “But I took paper towels and cleaned it all up.”
    Yeah. Right.

    The Grouchy Not-Pregnant Lady

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