Vacation Highs and Lows (and the winner of the full ms crit!)

I didn’t actually go on a vacation-vacation.  I went to a wedding.  With my three children.  (See how the word vacation suddenly loses its appeal?)  But even traveling with my brood and no spouse has its upside…or some things we will laugh at down the road.  Like really, really far down.

My Not-Exactly-A-Vacation Hit List:
  • One ridiculously long security line (where they asked me if I would take off my stroller’s wheels.  Not kidding) eleven elevators and a man who had gas and literally lifted his butt and pointed it in my direction.  Foul. 
  • Creating centerpieces and favors for the wedding lunch.  Tied tulle bows for more than 100 chocolate-kiss wedding snacks.
  • Mom’s dog eating the wedding favors. (My kids were super entertained by what they saw in his poop.  GROSS!!  Ribbon, tulle, wrappers…at least he didn’t die).
  • Hearing my mom scream like she’d discovered a dead body when she found the dog eating the favors.  I’m slightly deaf in one ear now, but it was still awesome. 
  • Listening to my kids laugh as they ran around in my parents huge backyard.  Without shoes. “Mom! They don’t have ticks here!”
  • My husband showing up the night before the wedding and surprising us all. 
  • Baby blowing out (up her back) ten seconds before wedding pictures.
  • Having people stare at me because my baby’s diaper leaked all over my lap on the plane ride home.  It totally looked like I peed my pants
  • My grandma crying when she saw my husband at the wedding. 
  • Finding out that my dog destroyed the dog sitters house (tore down curtains, chewed floor moldings, pooped in their crate four times). 
  • Toes getting crushed by rude man who wheeled his bag over my foot and then gave me a dirty look.
  • Having a pedicure with my mom and sisters. 
Did you catch the incredible thing that happened (it’s listed sort of in the middle)?  My hubby, who is the middle of his “busy season,” woke up Friday morning, went to his morning meeting, bought a ticket and shocked the crap out of all of us when he knocked on my parents door. Best. Hubby Surprise. Ever. I <3 him!

Summer is almost over, but I hope you’ve enjoyed it!

And Jessica Lawson, you’re the winner of the full critique!  Please send the rest of Tripp’s story!


  • Melodie

    The dog-eat-wedding-favors story reminded me of the time our family dog pooped in every room of my aunt’s house while we were visiting her for a family reunion. EVERY room. She was on a House Beautiful home tour and hundreds of people trooped thru while we frantically cleaned up poo. We missed a pile behind a potted plant in the dining room that thankfully, no one noticed until it was over.
    We sent my aunt flowers the next day. She’s stopped inviting us to visit.

  • Becky Wallace

    @Meredith: Did I mention I was wearing a Buzz Light year backpack and carrying a two-month old? His look clearly shouted,”Stupid Woman! Can’t you see I’m walking here?” He just about got a very ugly hand gesture.

    @Carrie: I can promise that my husband’s surprise will be long remembered!

    @Melodie: Man! I think that even tops my worst puppy moments! Thanks!

  • Jess

    Taking off your wheels? That’s, um, very cautious of them, isn’t it? Those airport lines can be so frustrating with kids. I really think there should be the equivalent of a carpool lane where anyone with kids gets the express treatment.

    “Scream like she’d discovered a dead body”–too funny! Oh, and anything involving dog poop is hilarious (after the fact), so thank you for sharing that. Growing up, our cat used to eat winter hats and mittens and we would be on “poop watch” to see the interesting colors that came out. The baby blowing out before pictures…what can I say about that? I’ve had it happen, but never at a wedding. I’m so sorry, but it’s a good story!

    I must be feeling neglected from letting my husband play golf too much lately, because I actually got misty-eyed at your hubby’s surprise. That’s so sweet! Those really awesome surprises will be the ones that you talk about for years from now. Very cool.

    Speaking of very cool, holy cannoli! Thank you for choosing my manuscript to critique!!! I can’t wait to get your feedback. Again, it’s so generous of you to give your personal time for something like this. It really is. I’ll stop gushing now 🙂

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