Lies We Tell Ourselves

By “we” I actually mean me.

  • Lie:  I can totally do (insert tremendous list of time consuming activities) in two hours.  Truth:  Unless I can bend the laws of science, grow two arms, or have a secret team of helpers hiding in the garage, then no. I can not do a tremendous list of things in that amount of time.
  • Lie:  It’s okay if I didn’t hit my word goal today. I’ll make it up tomorrow.  Truth:  No, I won’t.  Sometimes — like maybe a  tenth of the time that I say this — it actually happens.  Usually I push the “make up work” off till the end of the week and then am oddly surprised when I have 7,ooo words to write on Saturday.
  • Lie:  I’m not going to let it bother me.  Truth:  It’s totally going to drive me crazy, but I’m going to suffer in silence, holding the rotten thing inside until it bursts out of me with some ugly rage when I’m actually mad about something else.
  • Lie:  It’s not for me to judge.  Truth:  I already have.
  • Lie:  I’m so tired. I’ll do the dishes/laundry/blog post/important email in the morning.  Truth:  I will do those things in the morning, but only after I’ve laid awake all night fretting about them.
  • Lie:  I’ll only have a bite.  Truth:  I’m going to eat the whole thing and probably lick the plate.  Self-control…I have none of it.
  • Lie:  I can not start this new book I’ve been desperately waiting for until I finish my draft/finish my edits/paint this piece of furniture.  Truth:  I read the whole book while sitting in front of my computer while I was pretending to be writing.
  • Lie:  My kids will never do that. Truth:  They already have.
  • Lie:  I’m crafty! I can totally paint this piece of furniture/create artwork for that niche above my fireplace/hang those curtains.  Truth:  I might be able to do those things, but it will take me months to do them because I always have a dozen more important things (another lie) than this self-assigned project.  In all actuality, I’ll put off these projects until the day before my parents come to visit then resort to the first lie on this list.

I’d like to thank my husband for providing the inspiration for this post.  He says to me all the time, “Keep telling yourself that and it might actually happen.”

And I totally plan to.  🙂


  • Kristan

    LOL! I love how the list came full circle. And this one?

    “Lie: It’s not for me to judge. Truth: I already have.”

    Yeah. That’s me. I TRY not to, and I’m getting better about it, but it’s hard to undo 25+ years of opinionated-ness. 😛

  • William Kendall

    In fairness, self control is highly overrated.

    And bending the laws of science is possible… but not recommended.

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