Writing Contest or It Just Keeps Getting Dirtier

Oh! How I wish I had real, live, actual readers! I have the perfect idea for a writing contest. I’d have two main categories:

1. Best story written about the items I found under my dryer
2. Story closest to what I think happened that resulted in the items being dropped behind my dryer

I’d even offer prizes! Like a big fat ($10) gift card and a beta read with copious notes of any writer’s manuscript.

You see I recently found out (not gossip exactly) the…ummm…sordid history of my house. I won’t go into anymore detail – except, of course, to say it was sordid – because I don’t want to give away the answer to category No. 2.

Here’s the list of the items I found under the dryer:

• a toilet wand (that did not belong to me, actually NONE of the items are my possessions)
• a piece of sheet music for a Catholic Christmas program
• a curly straw bent into an odd shape
• a water wing
• several small black buttons
• enough bobby pins to hold a super fancy updo
• and (wait for it, wait for it, seriously it’s that gross!) an unopened item of “protection”

I threw up a little cleaning behind the washer, but I threw up A LOT cleaning behind the dryer.

The rules to the contest are as follows:

1. You have to live in the continental United States to enter (unless of course you’d want to forego your awesome $10 gift card).
2. You must to email your entry to becky underscore vallett at hotmail dot com and post a link to this contest on your blog, facebook or twitter page and leave a link in the comments. A point will be added to your total for each of those categories.
3. You don’t have to use all the items in your story, but you must use three. An extra point will be awarded for every additional item in your story.
4. Even though the history of my house is of questionable morality, your story doesn’t have to be! Since I’m not a Nora Roberts/Danielle Steele kind of girl, telling the story without anything, you know, explicit will get two extra points. This applies especially to category No. 2.
5. The deadline for this contest October 11, 2010. So start writing NOW!

Imaginary Reader (or anyone else who happens to find this on google) I look forward to reading your entries! If you have any questions, send me an email or leave a comment.

Now I’m off to clean the kitchen! Ah, the joys of mother/writerhood.

Writerhood is a real word. It is.