I wish I could buy Ex Lax for writer’s block. You know, something that really, really gets the brain juices flowing.

The mental constipation I have now, I’m not sure even classifies as “writer’s block.” I know what has to come next in my story but am afraid it’s going to come out dry and boring. (Ick…this metaphor is getting a little out of hand).

One sort of newbie author said that when she has writer’s block she blows stuff up. Sometimes real stuff (the pyromaniac way) and sometimes figuratively. She asks herself, “What if a bomb exploded next to them right now? What would my characters do?”

My main character is in a painter’s van right now. I could, actually, blow them up. And since I’m not a plotter it could work. I’d probably have to go back and rewrite it later, but at least I’d move forward.

On second thought, I know we have a can of gasoline in the garage. It’s raining, so the likelihood of anything I blow up staying on fire is pretty slim. My husband used to blow up toys as a child and he’s a perfectly functional adult with all his digits. Perhaps I should ask him for a few tips on how to safely blow stuff up.

Or not.

Step 1: Snuggle with a four-year-old
Step 2: Fall asleep
Step 3: Wake up two hours later
Step 4: Walk around in a daze for forty-five minutes trying to shake off the midday haze
Step 5: Realize it’s time for dinner

Oops. Tomorrow will be a better day.

The first five pages of a manuscript are undoubtedly the most important part of your novel.

Now I have never, ever, shut a book after less than fifty pages. Agents, publishers and editors are not as forgiving. I’ve spent the day looking for the most important steps any author can take to get an agent to request more work. Here’s what I’ve learned:

• Don’t spend too much time setting the scene. Get to the action!
• Do place the hook.
• Do introduce the protagonist and their main problem (that second part is kind of hard).
• Do start with dialogue, if it fits the situation.
• Don’t introduce more than two characters.
• Avoid dream sequences.
• Don’t start every sentence with a pronoun.
• Don’t try to be Shakespeare. Use common words and both long and short sentences.
• Be subtle. Don’t give the plot away.
• Show the genre in the first page.
• Prologues are out of style.

I’ve read one book by Noah Lukeman already, and really want to invest in his second writer’s guide, “The First Five Pages.” If it’s any good, I’ll let ya’ll know. Until then, I’ve listed a few good articles that I discovered as I was researching this topic.

http://www.sfwa.org/members/bell/writingtips/fall07.html

http://www.suite101.com/content/putting-the-pen-to-paper-a186348

http://www.ehow.com/how_6202160_write-attention-first-fifty-pages.html

Happy Writing!