Had dinner with a group of ladies (you’ll understand the emphasis later) a while ago, and the subject of plastic surgery came up.

One of the women was upset because her mother-in-law had agreed to watch another daughter-in-law’s children while she recovered from an…augmentation (this lady wouldn’t go into details about her SIL’s type of surgery). Anyway, she was miffed that 1) her SIL was having plastic surgery and 2) that her MIL was willing to take care of the family.

The subject changed to the type of plastic surgery any of us would wish for. Seven of the nine women present said they would like to have Laser Hair Removal, and the chick who was offended by her SIL’s augmentation said she wouldn’t have anything done except for Lasik. I shocked them all by confessing my deep, dark desire for Lipo.

Which brings me to my first question: Since when has HAIR REMOVAL been considered plastic surgery?

Second question: Lasik? Seriously? So does she consider contact wearers vain?

And finally: Were all the women being completely honest? I was truly dumbfounded that more of them wouldn’t (a) fess up to their true desires or (b) have anything beside hairy legs and pits that they wanted to change.

Let me qualify this post by saying that I’m not a terribly self-conscious person. Most women will admit that they have “problem areas” and try to diet or tone them away. My saddlebags and poodyhoos have always bugged me. If you don’t have either of those problems, people with a spare tire, relief society arms, mommy-tummy, cankles or junk-in-the-trunk should be able to relate. (And if you don’t have any of those things, I HATE YOU! If you want to know what it’s like, here’s an experiment for you: take two helium balloons, get them a little damp and rub them together. Voila! Now you know what my thighs feel like when I’m standing in the shower.)

So if I had the time and money (or alas willpower) to make those areas disappear, I would do it.

I know I should be grateful for my healthy body, and that I’m mostly in shape. So “make do with what you have, or do without” or somesuch. Right?

And although it’s getting a little kitschy, what’s your thought on that?

A friend from high school posted on her blog that she was struggling with the “F” word.

She has three young sons, and was trying to find the right word to replace FART. It’s a hard transition for her. She grew up as a FARTER and has continued to FART. However, she married into a non-FARTING family. She didn’t want to offend her in-laws with her (and her sons’) FART language.

I don’t have a big issue with FARTS. I use the word FART occasionally, but have a hard time hearing my three-year-old use it. So, I’ve been trying to turn Gavin into a TOOTER. I know I’m waging a losing battle. His dad is a FARTER (just typing that makes me snicker) and we read the book “Walter the Farting Dog.” So it’s probably inevitable that he will eventually give up the word TOOT and replace it with FART.

Anyone have a good suggestion to replace FART? Should we even try to TOOT, FLUFF, or POOT (that’s a Texas term)?

What’s your thought on that?

Three years ago Jamie and I sat down together and made an awesome list of New Year’s Resolutions. We typed up a goal list, taped it to the office closet, and never looked at it again.

The following February I took the sheet down, laughed at the things we wanted to do (but never accomplished), and promptly threw it away.

I haven’t written down a goal since, which is supposedly an uber-important step toward achieving success. Whatever. I set mental goals all the time like, “Get out of bed and take a shower” or “Becky, you should blow dry your hair today.” I know those sound pretty pitiful, but I really do feel successful when I do my hair.

Which brings me to my question, can you be a goal-driven individual without writing them down?

What’s your thought on that?