Every Thing Has Its Season

So a close friend and I were talking about my attempted writing career and she gave me the classic, “How do you find the time?” I responded with something trite and funny.  We laughed and changed the subject.

Later that day, the real answer came to me. Every minute I spend writing is a minute when I’m neglecting something else.

You know what I decided?  That’s okay.

You guys know me (at least sort of). I’m a mom. I’ve got three kids under five.  I have a dog that is possessed by a demon and husband who is gone 90 percent of the time. I have a house, a yard, a huge pile of laundry and a deck that needs to be repaired.  I have a crazy volunteer schedule and I feed my kids too many meals from a box. 

I have a million things that need to be done (tub needs to be regrouted, closet needs to be cleaned…oh and groceries…yep, need those too) that I’m not doing.  But those aren’t the only thing I’m neglecting.
I’m tired nearly every minute of every day. I’m not eating, sleeping, working out, or taking care of myself the way I should.  Today I blow dried my hair. I won’t admit to the number of days in a row I’ve left the house with my hair in a wet pony tail.

Why, why, why, do I do this to myself!  Why am I constantly frustrated, anxious, exhausted?  Why am I tormenting myself over this nebulous dream that may never come true?
Because I need it. 

I need to feel successful about something besides a batch of fresh cookies and a clean house.  I need to think about something besides poop, puke and nap time.  I need to have conversations (or at least write emails) that include complex sentences and four-syllable words. 

I don’t have time to be a writer.  I make it.  And I do it now.  My life won’t be less crazy-chaotic, for a long, long time.

This is my season.  And I’m not going to let it slip by. 

P.S.  On Friday, I’m interviewing Jen Knight, author of BLOOD ON THE MOON, which comes out on August 30th!  She’s also agreed to take questions and is offering a ten-page critique to a random commenter! 

9 Comments

  • prerna pickett

    I completely agree with you. I also have three kids ages 5 and under and it’s stressful enough as is, but writing is my way of dealing with all those things that can sometimes eat away at you and drive you crazy. Don’t get me wrong, I love being a mom and I love my kids, but us mommies need some time too! And yes other things tend to get neglected, but as long as you love your kids, feed them, clothe them, and don’t neglect the BIG things, then that’s fine.

  • E.R. King

    It is okay to take time to write! What is it with motherhood and guilt? Why do we always feel we’re a horrible mother if we do something for ourselves? I learned from my own mother that it’s good to teach our children independence and that mommy has interests, goals, and hopefully, accomplishments beyond motherhood.

  • Becky Wallace

    You guys are awesome! I’m glad I’m not the only person plagued by f fears of selfishness! And I think that’s what this all boils down to. Is my need to write selfish? Not if I’m getting to the real necessities first (feed, bathe, clothe, snuggle and read to my kids…although the snuggling part is a little selfish:)

  • Trisha Leaver

    I laughed when I saw the bit about needing to write emails with four-syllable words, considering most my emails to you involve a host of four-letter words. On my end that is 🙂 I hear you in regards to things that go undone in favor of writing. Let’s just say, I wouldn’t be eating the fell on my floor either!

  • Laura C.

    Oh, I completely agree with you. I don’t write because I need fame & fortune (um…maybe a little fortune), but so I feel successful. I need to feel I’m accomplishing something other being able to cook dinner (which I’m barely able to do anyway.) Don’t talk to me about a wet ponytail–I have an inch-and-a-half of un-colored hair. Tomorrow…maybe I’ll clean the house and dye my hair tomorrow…

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