Memos from a Grouchy Pregnant Lady: Part II

Dear Well-Meaning Strangers:

For your convenience, I’ve created a list of things not to say to a very pregnant woman:
  • “Holy crap!  You’re still pregnant.”  If I could remedy this situation, I promise I would. 
  • “You look miserable.”  I am.  Thank you for reminding me.
  • “You’ve got to be due any day.” Actually, I’m due Thursday.  I’m sorry my appearance disgusts you. 
  • “Why are you here?  Shouldn’t you be laying somewhere with your feet up?” Pre-schoolers do not drive themselves to school, and contrary to popular belief groceries do not magically appear in the fridge, nor does dry cleaning drop itself off.
  • “Should you be walking that dog?” Probably not, but as she outweighs my three-year-old, I thought it was a better idea if I held the leash.
  • “Well hey, your face is still skinny.” What you’re really saying is that the rest of me is so fat you can’t help but notice that my head looks like a grape on top of a watermelon. 
I’m sure your heart is in the right place and that you really are concerned for my well-being.  I appreciate it, I do.  I’m just a little sleep-deprived and as you noted earlier, miserable.

Thank you,

The Grouchy Pregnant Lady
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Dear Nosy Church Lady:

I’m eleventy months pregnant.  Now is probably not the best time to ask me how many more kids I’m going to have.  This is my third baby, I’m happy with three.  I’m glad you think I’m “young and healthy,” but my procreative activities are none of your business.

Thank you,

The Grouchy Pregnant Lady
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13 Comments

  • Lynn(e)

    When my oldest sister was the grouchy pregnant lady, she was still in college. One day she went to the food court with my other sister for lunch, and people were staring at her…and she FREAKED out. She whipped around and faced the people at this one table and was like “I’m f#$ing married!!! And yes!! I’m pregnant!!! Now stop staring!!!”

    I love my sister 🙂

  • Kittie Howard

    You have every right to be grouchy…my younger sister is short and tiny…when she was pregnant she was waaaay out to there…she got soooo fed up with people staring, she once burst into tears. It’s just rude what some people do/say.

    Hope you have a smooth delivery! Hugs!

  • Lindsay N. Currie

    LOL those comments make me feel grouchy and I’m not pregnant! You know, my face ballooned up like a freaking beach ball when I was pregnant and I got so sick of people asking about water retention. Are they mad? Do they realize that it’s annoying, rude and absolutely craptastic to tell a pregnant woman they must “feel awful, what with the water retention and all”. You’re almost there Becky. . .so close!

  • Julie

    I had just sympathized for a friend after someone told her she looked like she was having twins when another friend of mine turned to a pregnant coworker and said, ‘Holy crap! Are you SURE you’re not having twins??’
    I wanted to throat punch her.

  • Meredith

    Haha, what awful things to say! I’ve heard people say to pregnant women that their face still looked skinny, and I always thought that was pretty much an insult.

  • Susanna Leonard Hill

    You are so funny! Hang in there! There’s light at the end of the tunnel (well, I guess literally but that wasn’t exactly how I meant it :)) And my third baby arrived on her due date – how’s that for punctuality? – so maybe it will happen for you, too 🙂 Best wishes for a smooth, easy (as possible!) delivery and a healthy baby!

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