I love writing dialogue. A good exchange between two characters — especially when they have rapport or are on different sides of an argument — is fun, entertaining and telling. I read it aloud to Hubby to get his response. If he laughs or grimaces, then I know where that particular scene stands.
He’s also a good sounding board for “guy speak.” I’ll pose a not-so-theoretical question and base my male character’s response on what my husband has to say. It definitely makes the dialogue authentic.
Right now I’m working on a scene where the conversation is supposed to be uncomfortable…and it is. However, this time Hubby says its too awkward. You guys be the judge:
“It was great to watch someone put Jessica in her place.” Adam said as he picked up a pebble from the flower bed. “Her dad’s a senator. Did you know that?”
“No.” I cringed.
He tossed the rock and it skipped twice before disappearing into the pond. “She thinks her word should be law, just because his is.”
“Did I cause a problem?”
“She’s just a silly girl. Don’t worry about her.”
Normally I wouldn’t worry, but it seemed that no matter where I turned an enemy was waiting. Adam was the only person who’d been kind to me in two days, and I was about to destroy his life.
“So…” he said as the silence between us stretched.
“So, I was thinking that maybe tomorrow we could have a day to ourselves?”
Ah, crap. “Sure. What did you have in mind?”
I don’t think it’s that awkward…more that Hubby is uber-sensitive about uncomfortable situations.
BTW, this is a very rough draft (wrote it last night) and I had to re-type it all to get it into the post. Forgive my errors.
It doesn’t sound too awkward to me. I can tell the situation is supposed to be, but the dialogue sounds authentic. Nice job 🙂
I don’t think it’s too awkward at all. But I am a girl.
Thanks ladies! Sometimes Hubby is the awkward one.
I totally want to know how she is going to ruin his life. I don’t think it is too awkward… the more uncomfortable the better anyway. You want your reader to feel it.
Hey…just an idea. What if you took out her response of “So”, let it just be an uncomfortable silence, and then lead in with him continuing…”I was thinking…”?
I like uncomfortable 🙂
Thanks Barbara! Good suggestion.
Lindsay N. Currie
I don’t think that’s too awkard, but I agree with Barbara that if you took that “so” out and left the pause, it would work perhaps even better.
Uncomfortable silences are definitely a guy sort of thing, but it feels right.