I Am Birth Control
We had dinner yesterday with some good friends. Their fourteen-year-old daughter and I had this conversation:
“Becky, when is your baby due?”
“In about four weeks.”
She bit her bottom lip and looked at my feet resting on the ottoman. “So…does that happen to everyones legs when they’re pregnant?”
“What…this?” I said, sinking a finger into my ankle leaving a dimple that took several minutes to fade.
Her eyes popped open. “Oh. My. Gosh. That is the most disgusting thing I’ve ever seen.”
“Yeah, well it feels pretty disgusting too.”
She took a turn poking at my playdough-like ankle. “I never, ever want to get pregnant.”
Her dad gave me a huge grin and a thumbs up from across the room.
If any of you want to give your children a quick lesson on abstinence, just send them my way.
“Becky, when is your baby due?”
“In about four weeks.”
She bit her bottom lip and looked at my feet resting on the ottoman. “So…does that happen to everyones legs when they’re pregnant?”
“What…this?” I said, sinking a finger into my ankle leaving a dimple that took several minutes to fade.
Her eyes popped open. “Oh. My. Gosh. That is the most disgusting thing I’ve ever seen.”
“Yeah, well it feels pretty disgusting too.”
She took a turn poking at my playdough-like ankle. “I never, ever want to get pregnant.”
Her dad gave me a huge grin and a thumbs up from across the room.
If any of you want to give your children a quick lesson on abstinence, just send them my way.
21 Comments
Red Boot Pearl
hahahaha! I love it, at least being pregnant has its benefits 🙂
I keep getting those looks like ‘how is that baby staying in there still?’
Good luck with everything!
Lindsay N. Currie
Oh I know exactly what you mean. I had to adjust our steering wheel every time I drove because my stomach looked like a beach ball smashed underneath my shirt. Remember that old Chris Farley skit “fat guy in a little coat”? Yeah, that was me LOL!
Becky Wallace
Oh ladies! So glad to know others have experienced these lovely situations!
Shallee
Ha! That’s too funny. I remember that part of being pregnant. I even got permission to wear flip flops to work (business environment) because I couldn’t fit into any other shoes. Good luck with the rest of the pregnancy!
Barbara Kloss
LOL that’s hilarious! Best of luck to you through the rest 🙂
JEFritz
This reminds me of all the stories my mom told me about my birth. I think I now know why she told me.
Susanna Leonard Hill
LOL! Go Becky!
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